This Rockhopper endurance eating competition promised an
inter-city competition featuring two legends from Austin. Ominous clouds on the horizon and thick
humidity in the air set the stage as 9 hungry, naïve competitors toed the line
for this 9.3-mile, 3-restaurant, 4000+ calorie showdown.
At restaurant #1, tension mounted as the competitors were
served their massive burritos, which weighed just over a pound each, along with
chips and guacamole. At 8:33am the gun
went off and the gorging began. The
literal storm outside would eventually skirt San Antonio harmlessly, but the
storm within the digestive systems of the foolhardy competitors was just
beginning as each eater finished up meal #1.
“Sweet” Chris Russell, accompanied by his 2 lovely pacers,
was the first out the door. He was
followed by Mike “The Ringer” Ruhlin from Austin, then Julie “Habanero Kid”
Koepke. The rest of the competitors
would soon follow, and the field started making its way along the 6-mile route
to the next restaurant. Joe “Schmo” and
Steffen “Two F’s” Andersland joined up and took the lead all the way to Taco
Cabana #2. Meanwhile, Sweet Chris, his
pacers, and Erin “The Tornado” Good were already diverted to a port-a-potty
along the route. Refried beans will do
that. “Maffatone” Tom Bowling, in a complete
departure from his normal, steady heart rate strategy, was setting 5k PRs and
lighting Leon Creek on fire on this first leg – would this risky move pay off,
or backfire? Along the way, competitors
were also cheered on by pacer Jess Winnett, Kristen Malloy, Tony Maldonado
(riding his bike along LC) and Michele Genereux, who decided (probably against
her better judgement) to witness Tom’s performance first-hand this time.
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| Russell enjoying the company of his two pacers |
Andersland and Schmal were the first to order at the second
restaurant. Trail-running legend Steven “Eatsum”
Moore from Austin was not far behind, despite taking the longest to make his
way through the 1-pound beef burrito.
Bowling came in next, having just bagged a 5k PR according to his
watch. Then Koepke and Ruhlin ran in
with Jess, followed shortly thereafter by Good.
Eric “Game-Time Decision” Lamkin – who waited until the last minute to
decide to participate, as well as to decide on which menu to order from (meat
vs. vegetarian) – also arrived at the second restaurant around this time. Russell wasted no time in finding a
comfortable patio spot in which to create a small kiddie pool of sweat. The two leaders quickly lost their spots as
Ruhlin, well-known in Austin’s endurance eating circles, made the second
1-pound burrito disappear faster than the Rockets in the NBA playoffs.
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| Russell's kiddie pool |
With Ruhlin already making his way down the last 3.3 mile
stretch of Bandera Rd, the others had their work cut out. Schmal, Bowling, and Koepke (who put away her
second burrito incredibly fast), all left together in the chase pack. Unfortunately, Taco Cabana #2 would also have
a few casualties. Lamkin, Moore and Good
would not even order food at the third restaurant. When Good arrived at the last restaurant, she
announced that she DQ’d “somewhere along Bandera Road,” having unleashed a
bean-and-cheese tornado of puke.
Ruhlin and Schmal arrived 1-2 at the last restaurant and
ordered, but Schmal could already taste defeat.
While Ruhlin attacked the last burrito (another 1-pound brick of steak,
rice and beans), Schmal could only nibble at it, bit by bit. Bowling, the only TC competitor to have
successfully finished the Whataburger Challenge last year, was next into the
restaurant. Koepke, Andersland and
Russell would follow. However, Ruhlin
was just too strong. At the 2:26 mark,
he gulped the last of his peach margarita and raised his fists in victory. He would be the only competitor to finish all
4000 calories; the rest would have to be weighed on the food scale. Schmal somewhat redeemed a poor performance
at the Whataburger Challenge last year, getting through almost all of the last
burrito – only 3.3 oz. remained uneaten from the 17 oz. behemoth, earning him
second place.
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| Schmal experiencing a new feeling: There's food in front of me, and I don't want to eat it. |
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| Bowling, pretty happy about his peach margarita |
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| The agony of defeat. How bad do I want it? Maybe not that badly. |
The most dramatic moment of the competition was about to
occur. Everyone had weighed their
remaining food contents by 11:32am, 1 minute before the cutoff, and it appeared
that Russell had a narrow edge over Steffen for 3rd place, with 10.1
ounces remaining versus 10.2 for Andersland.
But Russell was still chewing on a huge mouthful of food as the seconds
ticked toward 11:33 (the 3-hour mark). Once
time was officially called, Russell had to spit the remaining un-swallowed
tex-mex into the wrapper to be re-weighed.
The new weight was 10.9 ounces, pushing Russell to 4th place,
and forcing everyone to recoil in disgust.
The awards ceremony began promptly following the
competition. The coveted DFL award, a
toilet-shaped air freshener, went to Good, although all competitors would probably
benefit from such a prize. Ruhlin graciously
accepted his new Squatty Potty © for 1st place overall. Schmal and Koepke awarded 1st
place male and 1st place female to themselves – plastic shovels to hopefully
aid in shoveling food into their mouths a little faster next time. Andersland scored the final prize of the
morning – a “grow your own chili plant” in honor of defeating his spicy
competition on the way to a 2nd place male finish.
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| Ruhlin with his major award |
-Schmal and Koepke, RDs
Taco Cabana Challenge Results
Mike “The
Ringer” Ruhlin 2:26
Joe “Schmo”
Schmal 3.3 ounces remaining
Steffen “Two
Fs” Andersland 10.2 ounces
“Sweet”
Chris Russell 10.9 ounces
“Maffetone”
Tom Bowling 12.49 ounces
Julie “Habanero
Kid” Koepke 16.2 ounces
Steven “Eatsum”
Moore DNF after TC #2
Eric “Game-Time
Decision” Lamkin DNF after TC #2
Erin “The
Tornado” Good DNF after TC #2 with 8-ounce puking penalty
